Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What happened to Shirley Temple?

Where have all the Shirley Temples gone? I remember when I was little, my hair was down to my butt and every special occasion, my mom would make me sleep in those torturous comb curlers over night. When I would wake up, she'd yank them out (provided they weren't tangled in my hair, which they usually were) And the end result would be Shirley Temple banana curls. In fact, everyone always use to call me 'cute as Shirley'.

Then she'd put a cute frilly dress on me with white gloves, and if I promised not to wipe it off with my gloves, she'd let me wear a tinted lip gloss.



back in the day, I'd have been considered cute enough to win a pageant crown. Everyone always told my mom I should be in pageants. I had an adorable smile that lit up a dark room, I had giant puppy dog eyes, and I loved to sing. I was a performer and never had to be bribed, coaxed or forced to show off in front of people. In fact, I use to have to be bribed, coaxed or forced to stop. LOL

That's not the case anymore. Gone are the days of Shirley Temple being the ideal for what a cute kid should be. Gone are the days of kids being cute just cause they're kids.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about Toddlers and Tiaras, where girls go from three years old, to 30 in an hour episode.

Fake Eye lashes, Fake tans, Fake hair, Fake nails and in some cases, fake teeth for the kids at the age where they lose their teeth, or whose teeth are too small, and in one case, contacts to give them fake eye color.

Not to mention... so much makeup even Tammy Faye Baker would have said... 'whoa whoa whoa... know when to say when.'

We even finally saw a day when a mom put her daughter in fake boobs and butt padding so she can look like Dolly Parton










And most recently we had a mom who put her daughter in an exact replica of a Julia Robert's costume. You know the one she was wearing when she was PLAYING A PROSTITUTE!!



The saddest thing is... the parents have come out and basically said, there is nothing wrong with what they are doing.

This particular mother said it's more harmful to put your kids into sports where they can get hurt, like pageants can't hurt your child.






O'rly?

1. When a child doesn't win... why don't they win? Because they judges didn't find them to be "the whole package." Judges are looking for beauty, glamor and how photogenic the child is. So when your child doesn't win, eventually they will start to think it is because they weren't pretty enough, or wearing enough makeup, or a short enough dress, or spending enough money on costumes. They will eventually look at themselves as ugly, fat, and grow to have serious body issues. I even saw a mom tell her child the judges didn't think she was pretty enough. I've seen parents tell their kids not to make "those faces" because it makes them "ugly".

Damaging a child's self image is worse than when they are cut from a team because they don't have an aptitude for a sport. They'll find something they're good at one day whether it's a different sport, or something artistic... but they only have one body... and when you destroy their image of it, you're setting them up for some serious issues as teens and adults.

2. These children are being taught their biggest value in life is beauty. The faker they are, the better. Fake hair, fake teeth, fake nails, fake eye lashes, fake tans, too much make up, short skirts, low neck lines, the more sexual they are, the prettier they are. That's not harmful to a child? Teaching them to be sexy at 3 years old? Teaching them to be fake? Teaching them that their looks is their value? No, that's not going to create the next generation of "mean girls" who will eventually turn into little Lindsay Lohans when they realize being "former child pageant" winners won't mean a hill of beans in the real world. That's not harmful to the child at all.

3. These children are being turned into sexual beings. More makeup than a hooker would wear, short skirts, low cut tops, almost embarrassingly risque two piece bikini's... shaking their butts, doing the pump and grind dance style, blowing kisses and winking at the judges and the audience (some of whom are male), while wearing redder than red lipstick, long fake eye lashes, and loads of rouge. You have to weed through piles of poofy hair, and fake bake tan spray to see what the child underneath actually looks like.

You are telling me, as a mom whose main job is to protect her child from the scary things in the world, that having them dress as prostitutes, shake their booties on national TV, and wear enough make up to look like their 30 at 3 years old, isn't at all harmful? Especially when you don't know WHO those millions of strangers on the other side of the camera watching a show like Toddlers and Tiaras are or what their intention for watching is? That's not harmful at all?

4. Is it just me, or does anyone else notice a lot of these moms are overweight, slightly unattractive former child pageant contestants who want to relive their youth and former beauty through their child? I notice a lot of pageant moms saying the following.

"This was the best pageant of MY life."

"After all the work I put into this"

"MY dream would be for her to be discovered so I can quit MY job"

"This is the moment I'VE been waiting for"

a lot of "I", "Me" and "My". Very little emphasis on "my child".

I also notice the scenes where the kids are kicking and screaming and crying, and saying "Stop, stop" and looking scared enough to pass out, yet the parents always say "I'm only doing this because she loves to be in pageants".

Really? And you don't think this attitude harms your child? I've seen one parent who favored her pageant son over her pageant daughter because her son won more often. You don't think that won't hurt the little girl down the line? You think openly admitting on National TV you favor one child more than the other isn't harmful?

In the episode with the girl who was dressed in the prostitute costume... the mother whose daughter won 5th out of 12 girls through a hissy fit because she didn't take a higher title. She even took the trophy and pushed it away when her daughter tried handing it to her, like "this is for losers."

It's gotten so bad you have parents who won't discipline their children because they want them to perform on cue. Like this one girl who is almost 5 years old and won't give up her pacifier. She hits her mom, kicks her, yells at her, barks orders at her, tells her what to do... yet mom just caves or thinks it's "so cute". Can't wait to see what that kid will be like when she's 16 and has no boundaries. I feel sorry for her teachers cause when she gives them trouble, they won't get help from mom. Mom will blame the teachers cause her daughter is just "spirited", "cute", "expressive". 

5. Parents who say pageants aren't harmful are naive. Broken bones aren't the only thinks that can harm a child. Emotional damage is just as painful as a broken bone gotten while playing volley ball. In my opinion, a naive parent is very harmful to a child, because they are not focusing on the bigger picture and leave their child open for a whole world of pain.

No I'm not completely against pageants. Natural pageants aren't as bad because the don't allow a lot of the age inappropriateness than Glitz allows. There is a bigger focus on talent. And I see a lot of kids who do really seem to like it, and there are parents who have good heads on their shoulders. They know the line they won't let themselves or their kids cross. They know when their kids are miserable and won't force them to do it, and they know it's about their child, not about them and what they can get out of it.

I can get behind that. I wouldn't be against a child in a pageant who loves to do it, isn't forced to do it, and who isn't made to be 'sexual' in order to win. If the kid is a kid and having fun, and the parent is supportive win or lose, then Rock on.

It just scares me how many parents are ready to push the line so they can be famous through their child. Dressing them as prostitutes, putting fake boobs and butt padding on a 3 year old, botox (whether fake to get on TV or not)... it's gone waaaaaaaaaaaaay too far... and at that point it becomes about the parents, not the kids. These parents are doing it for themselves and their own self gratification.

Toddlers and Tiaras shows, these pageants are no longer about beauty, because under all that fake hair, fake tan, fake eye lashes, fake nails, and gallons of makeup, how can you even tell if the real kid is actually cute or not? Its all about how far you can push the envelope. And that's sad. One thing I would never do if I were a parent, is see how far I could push the envelope with a baby I'm suppose to protect.

I think the biggest thumbs down is to those who hold the pageants. They're the ones who pick the children whose parents go too far as the winners which just encourages them to go even farther next time. Like the one who dressed her daughter as the prostitute character ended up winning the big prize. I'd have disqualified her for being age inappropriate. 


What happened to Shirley Temple? and the days when kids looked like kids and were allowed to be innocent and free of care?


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